Safe arrival home…

“Welcome Home Nora” read the sparkly sign that it was taped on the wall next to the pink and purple balloons in our garage as we pulled in. What sweet friends we have to decorate for our arrival. My husband and I sighed with relief, ahhhh… we had made it home. It was a slow car ride from the hospital. Justin was very unwilling to drive even remotely near the speed limit. It was like a snails pace home. But home we were, ready to be a new family of three.

Some family members greeted us with a clean home, pizza and excitement to meet Nora. Nora was great. She slept mostly and was nursing like a champ. “How hard can this really be?”, we asked ourselves, “People have been doing this for years”. Naivety and adrenaline can only last you for so long. Mine lasted for just about eight hours of being home.

Stayed up too late…

November in Michigan equals early sun setting around 5pm. However Justin and I were full of excitement and thought that we were slaying this “being parents” thing. We stayed up late with family watching TV being totally naïve for what was about to happen. Bedtime rolls around I got our little precious teeny tiny baby girl Nora in her PJs with a fresh diaper. It was time to put her in the crib and let her sleep for the night. Right? Then husband and I would crawl into bed, discuss our day home and drift off to sleep. Again, Right?

Should have set up the Pack’n Play…

This is so not how it goes. I got comfortable in the recliner with a swaddled cute baby and I proceeded to rock her to sleep while nursing. When I went to put her down she woke up and immediately started crying. With clear frustration on my face my husband assured me that he could calm her back down while I went to bed. Reluctantly I walked away crying, fell into bed crying, and then walked back into her room crying. This all took about 35 seconds total. It was at this point that I told him I needed her to sleep in our room with us.

Room sharing is for weirdos, or is it? 

Rewind about six months ago when the topic of where our child would sleep came up. I voiced, “absolutely not in our room, we will not be those weird people who let their kids take over their lives”. I was obviously better than “those people”. Whoopsies! I hopped on the judgement train.

Justin thought maybe it would be a good idea to have the baby in the room for breastfeeding ease. Turns out that he was right and that I wanted my baby sleeping a foot from my bedside. Sweet husband proceeded to bring the “pack ‘n play” upstairs and construct it in our bedroom at midnight. Now with her safely in our room I asked myself, “it would be time to sleep? Right?” Not just yet. Time to nurse again.

Where is the home nurse?

As the tears slowed down the sleep deprivation started setting in. I had obviously not refined the skills of breastfeeding in the two days of practice that I had. At the hospital they had these wonderful things called Nurses who would gladly rearrange your breast so your newborn could latch. (Goodbye dignity) Well I didn’t have one of those at home. Nothing was going as planned once again, now Nora wasn’t latching very well. Hungry and desperate to nurse she cried, screamed and got frustrated. Baby girl crying, Mom crying and Dad YouTubing how to get a baby to latch. I just didn’t picture this was how it was going to go. This was not how any of this was supposed to go. She did so well in the beginning of the day, what am I doing wrong?

Finally she latches, she falls asleep and I put her to sleep. Of course Justin is happily snoring away while I lay there wide eyed staring at her making sure was still breathing. My eyelids at some point close, I fall asleep and then a cry wakes us up. Diaper change, nurse, put to sleep. 

Success!

We repeated this process probably eight times throughout that first night. The rising sun was a serious beacon of hope. We made it. We survived the first night home! Tons of tears, diapers, spit up and baggy eyes but all three of us are still alive, exhausted but alive. What a night! Welcome Home Nora!