Blog / Pregnancy

My Experience as a Surrogate

This will be my untold story of being a gestational carrier for my friends, as my first pregnancy ever. Yup, you read that right! My very first time ever being pregnant was for my friends AND it was twins.

Will you carry our baby?

Totally normal question right? At dinner with my husband, Justin and friends they asked me if I would consider carrying their baby for them since they couldn’t and I literally I blurted out “YES!” Being reasonable people they did ask us to think on for a few days but my answer would not change and thankfully my husband was also fully on board.

When I was 15 years old I landed myself in the ER, I was in horrible pain and thought I was dying! Turns it was a cyst rupturing on my ovary and I was told that becoming pregnant might be difficult. I was diagnosed with PCOS. I started to pay attention and realized I only had 1-3 periods maybe a year, and it was truly random if or when I would get one. So when Justin and I got married we never used any contraceptive and for 5 years we never, ever, ever got pregnant.

Back to my story; my friends asked if I would carry their baby (their egg and sperm) and said “Yes”. I knew that this might be my one and only chance to carry a baby in my body. I am all about experiences so I really didn’t want to miss out on something that most women get to experience, I didn’t want to be left out.

Researching being a surrogate

When researching stories of surrogacy and gestational carriers (GC) I found one thing in common. Not one story was about someone being a carrier for their first pregnancy. Every SINGLE story I found was basically a mom of a few kids and decided she could share her body to make someone else’s family dreams come true, blah, blah, blah.

I know that I like to do things off the beaten path, but this did have me questioning? Was I being too naive to think that I could emotionally handle this? Maybe all of these other women knew something that I didn’t?

Am I making a wrong decision?

Everyone, including the doctors were shocked when I was going to be the gestational carrier. I was a young, married, 25 year old. Why in the heck would I want to be a GC? Obviously I didn’t understand how hard this was going to be. Obviously I didn’t understand the risks involved. But obviously they didn’t understand how stubborn I am once I make a decision. Side bar, I think me never being pregnant before actually made it easier on me.

While talking with the IVF doctor we found out that this process could actually help my body do a reset. Some women will get pregnant through IVF and then a few months later get pregnant naturally. Turns out carrying my friends baby was going to serve two purposes, create a family for them and hopefully create a family for us!

Way too many doctors appointments

It would take forever to explain the actual process of getting pregnant. Months of drugs, shots and tracking both mine and the egg donors blood levels to match our cycles. So very long story short on how I got pregnant. It did end up taking two different cycles of implanting 2 embryos over a year. When we went in the first time the doctors informed us that they embryos did not grow like they should have and it was a very slim chance that would take, but I was there so we tried. Sadly they didn’t take. Second time around the embryos looked amazing and two were implanted.

Romance or horror film?

Now for my first time getting pregnant, let’s talk about how unromantic it was. I’ll lay the scene for you. Me in a super sexy hospital gown, laying on an operating table, super flattering bright lights, my friends aka the parents sitting near my head which blocked their view of my lady parts, my husband standing with his arms crossed, nurses moving about and one surgical looking doctor down at my lady parts with what looks like a very long, skinny turkey baster implanting teeny tiny embryos. I jokingly asked for some mood music and the lights turned down, to which the joke fell flat. Now if that does not scream romance, then I just don’t know what does!

Baby, are you in there?

I had bedrest for a few days to keep the buggers in, then a limited lifting schedule for a few weeks and back to normal! I got the positive pregnancy test back and I had to go every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for blood draws to keep track of my hormone levels. Nurses always called after the results were in to let me know everything looks great and the baby is growing. I am not a doctor but they knew this from my hCG level, which is what they were always testing for. One phone call a little further into the pregnancy looked like this…

• Nurse: “Your hCG level looks great. The level is so high you are either pregnant with twins or super pregnant.”
• Me: “I’m pretty sure super pregnant isn’t a thing?”
• Nurse: “Until an ultrasound we won’t know for sure, but it looks promising.”
• Me: WAHOO “Okay, thank you!”

Morning sickness much?

After that day everything took a turn for the worse, for me at least. Those babies just didn’t want me to eat or drink or live apparently. Within the first 4 months of being pregnant I lost 30 pounds, which lets be clear I was overweight when I got pregnant but it was unpleasant for sure! The babies were growing great, and I was looking thin, lol.

I got pregnant in the middle of June, due date was February 28th, but with twins they don’t let you get past the 38th week so February 14th was looking like the true due date. Babies were growing great and honestly after the first trimester the rest of the pregnancy was a breeze, well after I could eat again!

I am basically a super secret spy

Now my husband and I had just moved from our hometown 2 years earlier and we didn’t go home very much. I decided to keep this pregnancy a secret from everyone unless they saw me face to face. It was just so much to explain all the time and I really didn’t want to explain on social media. So for some people this will be the first of them hearing about me bring a surrogate/Gestational carrier.

Not funny… well, a little funny

Justin and I were out Christmas shopping and I had a giant belly, which means everyone would ask when I was due, what I was having, was I excited, etc. It was so annoying! One time Justin wanted to play a little game without my knowledge, a nice elderly woman asked the same line of annoying questions when he responded with, “Oh they aren’t mine.” I could have chopped him right in the neck with my arm. Her eyes were SO wide and confused!

Baby moon time

My friends took a 2 week baby moon to Hawaii in the the beginning of January and I joked that if the babies came out I was not taking them home. My job would officially be done. They day they were flying home from Hawaii I found out that amniotic fluid was leaking and I would have to be induced. FREAKING OUT at 33 weeks I called them frantic in hopes that they could make it to the birth of the baby boys. Thankfully they decided last minute to take an earlier flight and were already home!

Holy crap, I am having some babies

11 hours in my water finally broke and I was barely able to feel the contractions. After some more painful contractions my doctor checked me to discover that the presenting twin aka the one coming out of my vagina had his hand on his head so I had to have a c-section. Beyond upset, panic started to come in, I was going to be chopped open!

When arriving all numbed up from the epidural into the OR I was shaking and vomiting from the fear. I politely asked to be knocked out aka I begged them to help me, again I thought I was dying! (I am slightly dramatic lol) So they happily drugged me up and I was conscious, I suppose but I don’t remember a thing! My sweet husband sat by my head while babies were being ripped out of my body by what looked like a pack of wild wolves. He didn’t enjoy this as much as I did. I cracked many jokes the entire time! The babies were out and they were putting me back together and I asked the nurse by my head if I had a six pack. She responded with “Yes, you are bikini ready!” Which I snottily replied, “do I look like I can wear a bikini?!?!” That is literally the only thing I remember, lol.

Recovery is a B***

Long story short I ended up passing a large blood clot and was apparently bleeding out a little. I was passing out and needed 2 blood transfusions two days after the babies were born. Staying a full 5 days in the hospital is awful but to then finally be released, just to go back to the hospital 6 hours later is torture! I couldn’t breathe without feeling like I was being stabbed and was in horrible pain. They hooked me up to a morphine drip while I went through 20 hours of testing, the doctors had no idea what was wrong. at one point they were going to take my gall bladder out, but thankfully they realized that was not the problem.

What ended up happening was that Twin B was literally up in my ribs, and which caused my lung to be inflamed and would hit my rib cage when I breathed. No wonder I couldn’t breathe without being in the worst pain I have ever felt! Also I had an air bubble in my shoulder which had me tempted to just chainsaw my arm off to relive the pain. And lastly I was passing a few kidney stones! I NEVER EVER EVER want a C-Section. It was just awful!

Everyone is fine

Long story short, babies were and are great! They are almost 4 now and they know who I am. I am Miss Brandi who grew them in my tummy, and I have ZERO attachment to them, other than they are my friends kids. Justin and I were able to have a baby and then another! Nora is almost 3 and Sully is 1.5. And lastly, I am beyond thankful for this journey of being their surrogate/GC.