6 Ways to Survive Two under Two
Planned or planned, two under two can be a very wild ride. I acted like, whoops we are pregnant again. But honestly I knew that this was exactly what I wanted. I interviewed so many parents at church of spaced out kids and back to back kids. Ultimately it seemed to best to have back to back babies.
Nora was just 16 months old when Sully was born. With family a few hours away, just a small group of friends and a slightly workaholic husband, I quickly found some ways to keep some sanity, not much! But some.
I spent the 9 months I knew I was pregnant on creating good habits and teaching Nora as much as I could to make things easier on all of us. Beyond thankful I put in the hard work early, it made two under two way easier!
1. Sleep schedule
I cannot preach this enough! By the time Baby2 came around Baby1 was on a consistent schedule. I knew when B1 was going to wake up at 7:30, nap from 9:30-11, then nap again from 1-3:30 and then bed by 7pm. This was my saving grace! I was able to work my day around B1’s schedule and then nurse around the clock for B2. When B2 was 5 months old he was on the same schedule as B1 and slept through the night! I know, some of you are so mad right now.
2. Seriously though, nap when they nap
I napped like it was my job! I napped when they napped. Period the end. I didn’t stress and worry about the house. Momma’s your health depends on you being rested, so take care of you! Days that I pushed through nap free were exhausting and I just wasn’t the best I could be.
3. Teach Baby 1 to be independent
Now obviously we are not talking about getting a job and paying the bills. But there were simple things that I was able to teach B1 to help her transition from being an only child to taking the back burner, so to speak. She was able to walk upstairs and downstairs SAFELY (I taught her how), BEST THING EVER! Do you know how impossible it would have been to carry two kids up and down stairs while my who-ha was destroyed?
Other things that she could do were, get diapers or wipes, pick up a burb cloth, grab the pacifier that fell. Simple things like that made her feel important and a part of this new babies life, even at her young age. We also bought her a doll months before and had her practice being gentle with the baby. This helped tremendously, she didn’t discover she liked to rough house with the baby until he was much older.
Lastly, she didn’t need me to be staring at her 24/7. She honestly would play by herself, read to herself, eat lunch sometimes at the table alone while I breastfeed on the couch. I could walk away to get the baby or do laundry and she didn’t care. Less crying equals a calmer house!
4. Say Yes to help
Seriously, if anyone offers to bring you dinner, coffee, lunch or fold your laundry. YOU SAY YES! I know it is uncomfortable, it wasn’t my favorite thing feeling like I needed people. But my family needed to eat meals and let’s be honest, I was probably not going to cook them. People like to help, just think about if someone you loved just had a baby wouldn’t you like to help them? Exactly! So say yes.
5. Be okay with lower standards for a bit
Super woman stop it now. There is zero point in burning yourself out by trying to have your house look like the finished project of a DIY home show, your body look like a chiseled model, your meals look magazine worthy and your kids like drugged up angels who never do anything wrong. Social media lies. Life just isn’t like that, unless your life is and your are stress free. In that case, why are you reading this? Lol. For the rest of us, we need to chill a little and be okay with less than perfect. House, body, meals, children, gardens, instagram, etc does not have to be perfect.
6. Lastly, enjoy the snuggles
I will be honest. I was able to teach Nora a sleep schedule, nap often with the babies and teach Nora how to be less dependent on me for the little things. But I was bad at saying yes to help, and be okay with lower standards. As I write this I feel slight guilt for the lack of snuggles, for being stressed because nothing was perfect anymore and lastly for not saying yes to more people.
At first I felt so split between being the best mom to an active toddler and being the best mom to a newborn. I was running from one baby to the next. Thankfully quickly on to this cycle of momma hood I got it. My babies wanted snuggles so why not enjoy it. I let the guilt of the house go and embraced the babies.
When Baby2 was down for a small nap or not nursing I was usually reading and holding Baby1. I did get touched out most days towards the evening, but I did know that it wouldn’t last forever. I write this as Nora is almost 3 and Sully is 18 months old. Time has truly flown by, those crazies don’t want to snuggle ever now. They just run and play and tackle each other and push each other like I always dreamed. (Insert eye-roll) Take it from me, hold them when they want to be held for as long as they want to be held. You can do this!
